Lift Up My Eyes

There’s something I’ve learned that still surprises me.

I don’t depend on people the way I thought I did.

Scripture says, “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up” (Psalm 27:10). My parents didn’t forsake me. They loved me. They poured into me. But they both died. And when they did, something shifted.

God had to take me up.

When my father passed, I stepped into a role I can’t step out of. I am the patriarch of our house now. There is no rehearsal for that. No orientation. No gentle onboarding.

Just responsibility.

And responsibility does not give you space to be pitiful.

We had to survive. But not just survive — thrive. We had to put differences aside and move as a unit. Grief has a way of exposing fractures, but it also has a way of clarifying what matters.

What’s been beautiful is this: I’ve had more real conversations with some members of my family than I ever have. Depth showed up where distance used to live.

And on the other side, there are relationships that have gone silent. No hostility. No drama. Just silence.

And that’s okay.

There is a time and season to all things. Including relationships.

What I’m not saying is that I’m some kind of emotional machine who doesn’t need anyone. Quite the opposite. I need my family now more than ever.

Because we’re all we’ve got.

Bad English and all — it’s the truth.

But here’s the part that may sound contradictory: I don’t depend on people.

I can’t.

The moment you truly anchor your stability to a person is the moment you open yourself to the inevitable letdown. People can — and will — disappoint you. Not always maliciously. Not always intentionally. But inevitably.

That’s not cynicism. That’s reality.

And that’s why our relationship with our Heavenly Father is not optional. It’s foundational.

God never fails. It’s not in His nature. He cannot fail.

So if I’m going to place my ultimate trust somewhere, there’s only one direction to look.

“I will lift up my eyes to the hills — from where shall my help come?”

My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.